Today makes 8 months of marriage for me Steven! Can I just say it has been the most wonderful while simultaneously the most difficult 8 months of my life. Marriage is grand, and marriage is hard. It stretches and grows you, slowly changing you into someone who is a little less selfish and a little more righteous. Marriage is one of those things that shines a light on all your insecurities while also shining a light on all the best parts about you. It’s amazing and a gift, and yet… sometimes we drive each other bonkers. Bless. If you’re married I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, and if you’ve been married for a long time I’m sure you’re thinking, “JUST WAIT!”
So to celebrate 8 months of awesome I’m going to share 8 things I’m learning about marriage and my handsome husband (see picture above for reference.)
1.) I am very very selfish. I want what I want when I want it, whether he’s busy doing something else or wants something different, it don’t matta. I want it. The end. Needless to say this selfishness causes conflict, so I’m learning that if I want to see my marriage thrive and if I don’t want both of us to start pulling our hair out in sheer frustration, than it’s time for me to bite the selfless bullet. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.” When we serve each other and look out for the other’s interest, things just go better. Trust me man.
2.) SNUGGLING IS THE BEST. Nothing deep about it, I just love snuggling. You know that verse about love covering a multitude of wrongs? Snuggling basically works the same way, just saying. Morning snuggles? There ain’t nothin’ better. Judge away friends, I don’t even care.
3.) I can’t expect Steve to understand all of me all the time, or to read my mind. It just doesn’t work that way. That’s a big one that I need to learn. Steve is not a psychic and he is a male which means he no habla female. When I take that pressure off of him to understand me 100% of the time, then it seems that we can walk in more freedom in our marriage. When i don’t put my expectations into his area and expect him to be responsible for my feelings, things are just better.
4.) Laughter really is the best medicine. It’s kind of like snuggling, in that it also covers a multitude of wrongs. I love to laugh, I love hearing other people laugh, and noone makes me laugh like Steven Combs can. Gosh, he’s hilarious!!
5.) Communication is more important than I ever could have imagined. It keeps our lines from being crossed, and when our lines do get crossed it helps them get fixed a little faster. Sometimes if Steve and I are disagreeing about something we have to stop and say, “how did we get here? Are we hearing each other, or are we misunderstanding what the other is trying to say?” When we do that more times than not, we are able to form a solution to the problem. When we listen AND hear each other and seek to understand where the other is coming from… man oh man it just changes the whole thing!
6.) Life is hard, thus having fun is a must!! Steve and I are intentional about having fun together. I mean just being together is fun, but it makes it extra fun when you take road trips, and record music together, and try new restaurants, and go on bike rides, and drink coffee together. Like this past weekend we tried this restaurant I’ve had my eyes on, watched the Hobbit, went to the farmer’s market, went to church, went to life group, and went on a mini road trip to NC to visit PA schools. SO FUN!
7.) Sharing money has been both good and annoying. Good because my husband is very frugal and speaks wisdom into my purchases. For example, “Sarah do you really need that 10th purse?” But then again it’s annoying because YES I NEED THAT PURSE! Bless. I have a purse problem. But the bottom line is, I’m not always careful with spending money and so Steve keeps me accountable by ensuring that my purchases are wise and needed. God knew I needed that otherwise I’d end up in the poor house.
And last but not least…
8.) The love I have for Steve and receive from him is unlike any love I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve felt love before, love for friends and family. But love for a husband is just a different ball game. I don’t know how to explain but it’s wonderful and hard and I’m just so grateful for it. Everyday when I wake up next to that man of mine I just breathe out praise to the God who knew we needed each other. The God who knew I didn’t need someone who would encourage me by feeding my insecurities, but instead encourages me by calling me out of them and into freedom. God knew I needed his smile, and mad coffee making skills. God knew I needed him, because he helps me be better, and he helps me look more like Jesus.
Marriage. It isn’t always sunshine and roses, but it is wonderful. I know I’m a newlywed… I know I still have a lot to learn, and I am dedicated to being a life long student of marriage and Steven and God.