So last Monday morning I did something I hoped against hope I would never do. I dropped my iPhone into the toilet. I tried to save it from a watery death, but alas, even rice could not revive it. I was so bummed, I stood in the kitchen crying to that poor husband of mine because I’M SO CLUMSY IT’S STUPID AND HOW CAN ONE PERSON BREAK SO MANY THINGS?? My sweet man wrapped his arms around me and said, “It’s ok, everyone does it, it’s really ok! I promise!” “NO IT’S NOT! I’M LITERALLY THE WORST! WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS?!”, I cried back to him. He just kept hugging me and made me laugh, and I felt safe there but in my brain, man oh man, I was tearing me apart. “Sarah, when you will you learn? How do you break so much stuff? No one will ever trust you with anything important because you’ll just mess it up. What is wrong with you?” You’re probably reading this and wondering how I can be so completely dramatic about a phone, and I don’t blame you, but let me help you understand just a little more.
I am notoriously hard on myself. I am insecure, and unsure of who I am and I feel certain that I am failing at whatever I’m supposed to be. I’m too much and too little at the same time. And I have a hunch that I’m not alone here. I think maybe you feel the same way. Maybe not about the same things I do, and maybe not as intensely, but I’m fairly certain you have an insecurity, and maybe you feel like a failure sometimes. Maybe you think you aren’t thin enough, or successful enough, maybe you feel like you don’t make enough money, or maybe you just killed a garden (that’s me!). Maybe you feel like a bad mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, or friend. Maybe you feel stuck in your job, stuck in your town, stuck in your choices. Maybe you feel suck in self-condemnation, stuck in pornography, stuck in having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend, stuck in your mistakes. And maybe because you’re stuck you feel like you are a failure. You believe failing is what defines you. I feel like that so often, so I understand. I ignore the good in my life, because the wrong things I do feel so much bigger and they become all I see. But I think God is trying to teach me something in it, and it’s something that you need to hear too.
I fail sometimes, and so do you. I let people down, I break things, I hurt people, I make mistakes. But I am not a failure. I am not a letdown. I am not a mistake. And neither are you. It’s important to differentiate between those things. One tells you you did something the other says you are something. But the bible says that we are conquerors and co-heirs with Christ, we are His friends, His children, and His bride. The bible says, because Jesus came and died for you that you are now righteous, your sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west. You are not your sins, you are ENOUGH!
My friend Leigh and I have this thing where every day we will text message each other or chat each other on office communicator and say, “Today, YOU ARE ENOUGH!” Because honestly we need a reminder. Honestly, most days we don’t feel that way. But the truth remains, we are enough and you are enough. Even when you feel like you are lacking the facts are that you are enough and you are dearly loved.
I’m not saying that we should be content in our sin, or we shouldn’t look for change. One of my favorite books in the bible is James because “faith without works is dead” is like my life mantra! BUT most people I know aren’t really content in their sin, in fact they hate themselves because of it. I don’t think, for most of us, our problem is not hating sin enough. It’s that we don’t trust God enough and we don’t trust that He meant what He said about freedom and we don’t trust that He loves us without condition and we don’t trust His grace and forgiveness. It seems too good to be true, and we think we need to earn it. We think we won’t be enough until we measure up and that feels very far away. But I have good news, the things you do or don’t do are not what give or take away value. You value is not found in the size of your jeans, the success you achieve, or the number of things you don’t break (praise HIM!!). Your value is found in something that can never be changed or taken away. You are a child of the Living God, and that is enough.
Friends, today, YOU ARE ENOUGH! Who you are right now, in your sins and shortcomings, is enough. Nothing you ever do will make Him love you more than He does today. He died for you knowing full well the mistakes you would make but He did it anyway because you are ENOUGH! He isn’t waiting for you to lose 10 pounds, He isn’t waiting for you to get your act together, and He isn’t waiting for you to become perfect. He’s already made His decision. When you read that, does it excite you? Does it feel too good to be true? Does it give you the ability to breath freely? Does it make you want to dance because IT’S OK THAT YOU ARE CLUMSY!! Jesus still loves you!! WOOOOO! (Just me? …ok….) You are not a failure. You are not a mistake. You are enough. Please let that take root inside you. Let it grow and grow so that you can fully begin to believe it. I’m still learning to do that. I have to remind myself all day everyday, “yes Sarah, you did just break the espresso carafe, but you are still enough. Yes you did just say that mean sassy thing, but you are still enough and you can do better.” Because we are not our sins. Because we are more than a number on a scale, or the amount of money in our bank accounts. We are broken, but we are being made new. So don’t you forget it! But if you do, I’ll be here reminding you that YOU ARE ENOUGH!!
p.s. sorry for all the caps, I just think caps emphasize importance and what’s more important than learning to love to yourself the way that Jesus loves you?? From there flows the ability to love other better.